Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Smacks of Old Fart Wednesday

You know, I was thinking the other day about the financial benefits associated with being a senior citizen.  Currently, you can start drawing your Social Security pension as early as age 62, Medicare kicks in at 65, and there are all kinds of Senior Citizen Discounts out there, at all kinds of establishments.  You can get discounts at the movies, hotels, rental cars, airlines, cruise lines, car washes, restaurants, etc., etc., etc.  All you have to do is be old enough and willing to own up to being an "Old Fart."  The latter may be the hardest part.
Shortly after moving to Tyler, in June of 2009, my wife and I went  to a local Mexican Restaurant for dinner.  While looking at the menu I noticed that Seniors were eligible for lunch portion meals, at lunch prices, anytime of the day or night.  And the qualifying age was 62.  I thought this was a really good deal.  The size of the meal was right, the price was right, and I had just turned 62 and 1/2.  (I've noticed that many Seniors, myself included, report their age in years and half years...just like young kids.  But, for different reasons.  Kids want to sound older than they really are, and Seniors want to sound younger.)
Anyway, I told our server that I was 62 and 1/2 and wanted the lunch size beef fajitas and a glass of un-sweet tea.  While he was taking my wife's order, I was fumbling through my wallet looking for my driver's license.  I was sure that he would want proof of my age.  After all the guy at the Liquor Store wanted to see my license when I was 21 before he'd sell me a six pack of beer.  If then...why not now?  But, by the time I got my license out the server had already left to turn in our order.
When he returned with our drink orders, I asked why he didn't ask to see proof that I qualified for this Senior Citizen deal.  All he did was wink and say, "I trust you."  
Needless to say, I left with a deflated ego, and he left with a deflated tip.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I went to get the car washed.  One of the car wash places in our neighborhood had started giving a $2.00 discount on any of their washes to Seniors over 65.  (If you've done the math then you know that now I'm a month shy of being 65 and 1/2.)  I drove up, told the attendant that I wanted the $12.99 full service wash.  He said, "Thank you."  Wrote what I wanted on a ticket and handed it to me.  I took the ticket to the cashier, and before I could say a word, she said, "That will be $10.99."  
If this isn't bad enough, after I left the car wash I went to a nearby Whataburger to drown my old age sorrows in a #1 What-a-meal with a large diet Coke.  I pulled up to the order point in the drive-thru line and told the "voice" over the loud speaker what I wanted.   The "voice" told me the price and asked that I pull around to the second window.  When I pulled around to the second window, I told the lady there that the "voice" had made a mistake when telling me the price.  I actually owed $0.57 more than told.  That's when she said, "Oh no sir, we gave you the Senior Citizen discount."  
How did she know?  She couldn't see me, didn't ask, and I didn't tell!  But, I did immediately feel about two weeks older than dirt.
Looking like a Senior is one thing, sounding like one is another. But, when you look AND sound like a senior...that has got to "Smack of Old Fart." 


  1. That's funny! And to think, I felt old when the cashier checked "yes the customer is over thirty" when buying beer last week without carding me.

  2. That's funny! I still get carded when I buy beer. I guess some old farts look younger than others.