Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Smacks of Old Fart Wednesday-When are They Going to Learn?

There is a saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I am not sure that Old Farts learn lessons either.

Sunday morning we awoke to a mildly bad odor in the house. Barry thought the dogs needed a bath. He was correct about that, but I knew that was not what I was smelling. I looked under the kitchen sink and saw that the garbage disposal was leaking. Luckily, we caught it early. So, Barry went to Lowe’s for a new one and went to work. I was very impressed with how quickly and neatly he did this. 

Monday morning, I started the dishwasher. Then I left for a short period. When I came back the floor was covered in water. I decided not to bother Barry about it while he was at work. 

Then, we received this email from our friend Jerry B. You may remember that on one RV trip Barry and Jerry took out the television on our RV, drove all over Arkansas looking for another one, and we eveidently ended up with the JerryTron. Then last summer we went on an RV trip to Colorado with Jerry and Kathy. There were a few mishaps there also. 

So, unbeknownst to what was going on at our house, this is the email Jerry sent us.


Here are the top ten titles for this story, all are suitable.

1. Why do these things happen to me.
2. Why didn't I call the plumber
3. My Wife is going to kill me
4. When am I going to learn
5. This can't be happening 
6. This was supposed to take 30 minutes
7. What am I going to do now
8. WTF
9. When am I going to listen to my wife

Now for a few of Kathy's titles to the story. 

1.When is this man going to learn
2. What is wrong with this man
3. I told him so
4. Why is he so stupid
5. One of these days he's going to listen to me 
6. 9 hours and only 1 trip to Home Depot
7. We didn't need a new faucet
8. Oy!

8:00AM Sunday Morning
The day started innocently enough. I figured I would replace the powder room faucet ( a perfectly good faucet that still looked like new)  with a more modern one I had left over from one of my construction jobs. I said this should take 30 minutes. I can do my other chores for the weekend and maybe swim later.  All I have to do is turn off the supply valves , unhook the faucet, put the new one on, and turn the water back on. I turned off the valves, unhooked the water line from them, and noticed a little dripping. I figured that would be ok when I hooked the faucet back up and turned it back on. Then the ordeal started. The faucet wouldn't come off the pedestal sink. I tried for an hour to unhook the faucet  and then decided that my neck couldn't handle any more laying on my back. It was time to pull the pedestal sink from the wall. 

I cut the caulking with the utility knife and the sink was ready to pull away. I pulled and the molly bolts made 2 huge holes in the Sheetrock. I think this was the first of many WTF"s I uttered.  Wel,l the sink was off so I replaced the supply valves. I turned off the water to the house,  unhooked the valves, and there was still water coming out of them. I figured I would be done quickly with the replacement and there was no need to worry. I put a bucket under them. Well, I tried for another hour to get the compression rings off the pipe,  but no luck. Time to call the plumber. I figured I'll would try to get the faucet off the sink until he came. 

Plumber never called back . I was not going to wait for him. The water was off in the house  (but still dripping on the wall and floor) . I looked on the Internet, and someone had a good idea on how to remove the old compression fitting. I did it and finally new valves were on, water was on, and everyone could pee again. Now, what to do? I had to do something now because I had completely ruined the old faucet trying to get it off, and it was still on the damn sink. Do I go get a new sink or what? 

1:30 PM
Still trying to get the *#*%#*^ faucet off the sink. I decide I could do some drilling and get it off. I pinched  my finger really good with pliers and have a big blood blister, but at 2:15pm the *#*%#*^ faucet is finally of the *#*%#*^ sink. 

2:15 PM 
Time for the first  and only trip to Home Depot. I get back about 3:00PM and hook up the new faucet and lines. I am getting ready to install it on the newly fixed wall when all of a sudden I hear, " Aren’t you going to put the new matching drain in the bottom of the sink?" I put the new *#*%#*^ matching drain in the sink.  About  45 minutes later, I was finally ready to put the *#*%#*^ sink with the new *#*%#*^ faucet, and new *#*%#*^ drain on the wall. 

4:30 PM 
It's on the wall.  I caulked the sink, and Kathy looks at it. That is when I heard it. "It's a little crooked" . 

The sink is still crooked and will always be crooked.
this may be an exaggeration

 Everything is cleaned up and mopped, but there is no time to jump in the  pool. It's raining!

Now all that needs to be done is float the Sheetrock above the sink, paint, and put matching towel rings and toilet paper holder. But I don't think it is going to happen. I'M AFRAID AND FEAR FOR MY LIFE.

I thought after 38 years of marriage that I knew all of my wife's  "Looks". I couldn’t quite decide if the "Look" she gave me when she came in the bathroom and saw the sink off the wall, the holes in the wall, and the water and caulking everywhere was one of disgust, hate, or fear. You would think I would know after all these years.

Now back to Barry and the disposal. When Barry got home and found out about the leak, who did he call for advice? You guessed it-Jerry. (and even though he told Jerry not to tell anyone he called him for advice, Barry is married to the editor of this blog and that is risk he takes). Jerry said it sounded like the air gap. Barry worked on that, and I ran the rinse cycle. Thinking Barry would watch his handy-work, I went out back to grill. I came in and saw Magic sitting in front of the open cabinets under the sink with his head cocked and water running out below. 

Barry then pulled out his household repair book and realized he had not removed the drain plug.  

Maybe they are not Old Farts, just bad plumbers. 


  1. I offer free "the look" lessons! Sounds like you had as much fun as I did!

  2. Well, "you get what you pay for!"